TCP Book Club: Your Defiant Child — 8 Steps to Better Behavior by Russell A Barkley, PhD and Christine M. Benton (Part 1)

defiance |di'fiəns|

noun

DEFINITION: open resistance; bold disobedience; 

SYNONYMS: opposition, noncompliance, disobedience, insubordination, dissent, recalcitrance, subversion, rebellion; contempt, disregard, scorn, insolence. 

ANTONYMS: obedience, compliance.

A confession: defiant behavior is my hot button.  At home it makes me want to toss out punishments faster than a baseball pitching machine set on high.  In the classroom, the potential for utter frustration is even greater: imagine managing a defiant child before 22 sets of impressionable eyes.  Add to this a defiant child's sudden, irrational, and sometimes violent tendencies, it's no wonder that developing this portion of my parental toolbox is not only of personal interest, but essential.

Your Defiant Child, written by child psychologist Dr. Russell A. Barkley and Christine M. Benton, begins by assuring parents that they are not alone. Some children are more prone to defiance than others and there might not be anything intrinsically wrong with them. Parents are encouraged to complete a survey that helps distinguish 'difficult' children from those with a diagnosable disorder.  The authors then go on to explain what predisposes a child to exhibit oppositional behavior: the child's character, the caregiver's character, the historical interaction between the two, and the family environment.  Here are my top five take-aways from Part One:

1. Defiant behavior that lasts less than six months is considered within the bounds of normal.
2. Boys are more prone to oppositional behavior and it is typical that a child will exhibit this behavior more often with the primary caregiver.
3. That said, if it is impairing your child's ability to function at an age-appropriate level or causing you or your child undue distress, it's time to take action. 
4. Severe behavior with multiple contributing factors (including ADHD and other disorders) may require professional help to achieve a successful outcome. 
5. Following a set of basic parenting principles (outlined in Part Two) can significantly improve family life regardless of the starting point.

At this point I'm interested in knowing how different this book's eight steps are from the advice recommended in How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Faber and Mazlish.  One way or another, I'll let you know.